pictures,louder than words.

I just felt like posting lots of pictures today, i need to look at some thinspo pics. i think im just going to go eat 400 cals. sitting in the car this morning, see this chick who used to really fat, looking like a twig..and i got depressed..i had to backwards glance to make sure it was her..i was so shocked. she looked really good, and her clothes look so much btter on her..she has no muffin top or an apple in her pants. grrrrrrr. seeing shit like that makes me hell jelous & fuckin annoyed; becuase im not like that yet. but at the same time motivates me more to wanna loose weight. i realised that i dont have a full length mirror in the house..ive always been okay with the top of my body, but maybe i was an-aware that i delibratly havnt bought one for that reason, i probly cant stand looking at my fat legs,love handles and butt. i think im gonna buy one...one of my friends sais she looks at her self in her full length mirror for 4 hours a day...ive been in her house and she has the mirror in her kitchen & one down her hallway..i spose thats a good idea, you look at yourself eat and get repulsed..and you cant run away cos your always looking at yourself. She has body dis-morphic disorder, or i thinkk thats what its called, what she was describing kinda sounds alot like the things i do & think but maybe im just in denial or and just really screwed up and confused..who fuckin knows?!

I bought a measuring tape and a pedometer..to take my measurements to see if anything is actually happening..i know i need to go to the gym about 5 times a week..im only going like 2 a the moment, poor effort i know. ;(

but ive been to a shrink a few years ago and there more fucked up than me...they twist shit around and make you sound like a weirdo, when all you do is think differently to them and what they consider "normal"..not really intrested in what they have to say anyway id rather spend money on nice clothes or a personal trainer lol.

wel im off to get ready to work..uggghhh i dont wanna go i just wanna stay inside all day and read more blogs..im almost tempted to pull a sickie haha.

stay thin pretties

x