Confessions & Photos of my somewat progress =O ;)lol

Here is what i looked like last month..i have a tattoo on my back saying lil chef..i also look really white, i think its the camera qaulity & i took that early in the day in my bathroom..look at that huge fat ass..grrrrrr.i hate it!

this is what im like at the moment, i stripped off in the toilet at work and took the photo,lol..thats why all my chef clothes are on the floor in the background lol..im still fat though :(

Okay this was yesterday, me holding a doughnut what the fuck am i doing!! - i had it for lunch...im lost some willpower with that stupid gay chocolate coated fucking peaice of dough shaped like a circle! :)(:(:( ;( ;'*(

that next to me is carlos, his my boxing friend we gym it together,work together,drink together we are like 2 peas in a pod..he looks pretty knarly but his the nicest & funniest bloke ever!! and to ruin the photo i am wearing tight shorts that i should not be wearing for my figure..gross. im so conscious about my legs, but yesterday i thought fuck it ill wear this and ummm yeah..lets not do that again..not until im skinnier anyway.

So000000oooooooo0ooooo........

im going to the gym this morning with carlos, he also motivates me to go..which is a good thing or id lay in bed and just not eat. gonna do abit of shopping aswell, need new bras and shit like that.

*~You might wanna grab some sugar free gum while reading this, it could take a while to read..so prepare yourself~*

So, when my friend kelly was over the other night (thats right i called her a friend,lol) she confessed that she still steals things from shops, i dont really wanna go in shops with her incase they think i do it too..but when i got kicked out of home i did some things i was not proud of but wouldnt change how i did everything either.. so anyway i moved to a small town that was half an hour from the main city where i went to school, i had no money and i moved in with a kiwi family who used to give me like $200 bucks for a fortnight plus they put me on this thing called centrelink where they pay you money every week cos i was living out of home and a school student.. so anyway when i was at school i was hanging with a new crowd from this small town kambalda... they happen to still be really good friends with me (this is when i met kelly) ..so this is how it played out..there were 5 of us girls including my boyfriends ex gf kaylee,kelly,aroha,roxy & me.. we used to catch the bus into school go to one class we liked..mainly art for me and then wag school and go shopping up town with our 5 finger discount..of course we had no money we used to steal everything..we used to go into shops try on 4 items of clothing and come out of the changeroom with 2..it was such an adrenilline rush and we all used to love doing it, we had the best clothes..friday was our day for raping the shops..cos we used to party on friday nights and go get smashed at house partys...this is how i met my boyfriend at the first party i went to..hehee...we started to get cocky like we would steal shit infront of cameras and walk into shops take something and run out..when we all met up and catched the bus back home we all went to one of our houses and would take everything out of our school bag to see what we had...if you can imagine 5 16 yr old girls laughing and rolling in expensive dresses and jewellery it was soooo fun. but id never do it again, cos i earn heaps of money now. i guess when your young and dumb, you dont think of the consequences. But it only got better, i didnt know that the centrelink had been paying me for months without me realising it, i checked my bank account and i had $5000.00 i was like OMGGGG i almost screamed at the atm..and what did i do?? i blew it. on clothes and anything i wanted, i had never had that much money in my life before..well i was 16, and what else was i gonna do with it, looking back i coulda saved it, but me and my friends just had a ball..knowing you could buy almost anything you wanted was an awesome feeling. Now, i get paid $2000 a week so its not that bigger deal for me..but back then holy fuck..it was some of the best times i had ever had in my life..and it was great..did some things i wasnt proud of..but i have stopped doing that kind of shit..i was smoking aswell cos other girls where smoking...and its not like i was hanging with a feral bunch of yard moles, these girls are like really vain and always look the best even if it was just school..and to know such a secret about them, it makes me think maybe other girls like us have done it too. I always used to wonder how all the popular girls have the best of everything and you just wanna be like them cos they have everything..and there the same age..like they must have rich parents or something??? Now me and my boyfriend own 3 houses and a business and im only 20 and he is 25..i have no reason to do stuff like that anymore..oh well..when ever we see each other we reminise about the past and it was just hilarious and fun..it was like we were invincible..people were jelous of us cos we had great stuff, we always looked good cos we had nice clothes and stuff and whatever we did we had the most fun..so yeah i miss those days mainly cos i always had a ring of friends around me..but now i just keep a couple of close ones that i can trust. So when Kelly the other night tells me she still steals, i told her she should probly stop becuase where not 16 anymore, were 20 and if she gets caught it will stuff her chance of getting a job..or end up in jail with charges against her or watevs.

fuckkk, what a longggggggggggggggggggg post, feel sorry for who ever has to read it lols. i should cut down my blog posts they so long lol.

well intake outline for today:

b: toast with vegemite and glass of skim milk

l: spinach,tomato,ham,cheese,advocado on a vita heat cracker

s: frozen yohgurt with strawberries

d: something light, since im working out today ;)

stay thin & beautiful my lovlies ♥

xx