Thursday, April 8, 2010

In No Mood For Food

Fuck, i feel like that fat chick just there...i ate like 2 small plates of spaghetti bolognaise last night AND a chocolate milkshake, it had skim milk in it but still.. FUCK!..Noooooo0o0o0o0oo! Why did i give into myself?? i have to be extra strict on my calorie intake today becuase im feeling the fatness big time!!. I wish i was like those skinny girls, they look so much happier and beautiful than a fat huge pig...theres a song called "big girl you are beautiful" by mica but trust me, most people screw up there faces when they see a fat person, like it hurts their eyes to look at it. I dont want that to happen to me anymore...i can feel people staring at me when im wearing shorts or a skirt, and im so self conscious that they are staring at my fat so i run away into the bathroom and stare at myself.

Do you know whats even worse, i hate it when this guy at work sais, "gee what a fat ass you have" and i give him the most evilest look i have known to my facial expressions. Like im not as fat as the rest of people i work with im thin compared to them but they give me so much shit, which just makes me more detrmined to loose more weight. I hate it when people give you shit and say your fat, and when you loose lots of weight they say your getting way too skinny. wtf, make up your mind already. It dosnt matter what they say i know im fat and im going to loose more weight. I have to prove that i can be skinny. I went and bought these hot bikinis that are like a size too small for me, so im hoping that ive lost enough weight by august that i can comfortably fit into them, im going to try them on every week to see if i have any progress. Heres a picture where im going to:

And heres a picture of what all the girls look like over there:

Can you see my concern?!..this is why i need to have a good body before i go on holiday!!

Went walking up town last night and saw all these little 14 yr old chicks wearing short shorts, there so short they look like underwear..despite them being like skinny bean poles and i know there only like 14 but i was so jealous, i want to wear shorts like that too :(
Alrighty daily intake:
b: 1 weetbix w skim milk
l: small plate of lettuce,tomato,cucumber and riccota cheese
s: frozen yoghurt with blueberries and strawberries
d: - nothing!!
im being extra mean on myself today to loose those extra calories that i put on yesterday, going to go slam myself at them gym. I need to have more ana thoughts today, that is my goal ;)
Love you my little pretties
leave me comments cos i love yoooooh!


  1. I hope this doesn't sound too bitchy, but I can sense jealousy from those people at your work. They're probably just so self-conscious about their own bodies they'll criticise others whenever they can.

    Looks like a great place you're going to. Hmmm, to be able to just wear a bikini like it's the most natural thing in the world (like those girls in the picture do)... that would be heaven.

  2. No it dosnt ;) everyone has there own opinion and i like to hear it :D i mean all i do is winge & bitch on my blog lol!!
    Yeah they are all pretty fat, excpet the guy calling me fat is boxer and is really fit..i guess he likes to bag me out becuase he knows im so self conscious. I guess it kinda works in reverse when people try and out me down about my weight it gives me more motivation to loose it! ;D yepp i cant wait, and yes i agree i would love to be able to wear a bikini and feel confident :]

  3. If you're thinner than the girls you work with and they give you shit, they're just jealous. Keep your chin up and fuck what they say.

    Also, no such things as way too skinny. You keep doing what you're doing, lovely. Stay strong!

  4. Thankyou alice! ;) I guess your right, they are probly insecure about themselves so they hate on me. what you just said was very inspiring thank-you, ill keep doing my hardest to be more skinnier ;)