Okay so i get home last night, and i go to log onto my blog and i left it logged in..my boyfriend was home, and im not sure if he read my blog..i dont want him to think im so maniac with a mental problem. i want to keep this to myself, atleast until i start seeing results! I love him more than myself, and i think the world of him..and i now he cares about me..but when we cuddles i felt him rub my hib..and alll i can think about was..oh god his rubbing my fat.. if i kept controlling what i eat he wouldnt have to feel that, and im sure he'd be alot happier not putting up with a girlfriend with fat legs,ass and stomach..ew makes me shudder thinking about it.
Alright so yesterday i dont think i did too bad for my first day..but could be room for improvement!! I hardly felt like i needed to eat and the hunger pains i embrace becuase i know i would usually run like a un-civilized beast to the cupboard and start eating whatever i can find. Im also starting to get the voice in my head, saying " if you eat that your just going to be more fatter" so i turn and walk away.
I notice when im at work im more tired and need more energy, and the really bad cravings start to hit me at 7.30pm..and i get wrestless like i just want to eat, so i distract myself and go talk to customers, i find this works for me.. i work on a camp where there is 95% men and 5% women..so when ever the girls come in, i have more inspiration not to eat, becuase a couple of them are larger than me so it makes me feel abit better ( sounds bad, but it works for me)..i also watch them eating, thinking to myself "keep eating your just gonna get fatter while i get thinner"
So im going to plan out what i eat today: and see if i stick to it.
b: 1 wholemeal bread
1 poached egg
l: sweet chilli cracker
tuna
2 slices of tomato
s: green grapes
d: cup of tea, no sugar.
Stay thin xx
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