Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I dont want my thighs to touch!!!!!!!


i love before & after shots

I really really really want a body like this! ^






I want my legs to looks like this ^

Recipes for the starving

I have just created a new page of recipes! ^ check it out! & feel free to comment and add any of your own, it all helps us! xx

Cocktail Mix Of Diets!




okay so i just read this thing saying that fasting only gets rid of body fluid and you stack it back on. you can read it here at www.carefair.com( and just type in fasting in the searh box) <<, pretty good site gives you a lot of tips!

so now i think im going to make a mixture of a diet including ana principles, exercise,calorie counting but eating a little bit more than just a grape a day. I am one confused girl, if only there were one diet that every human should stick to, it would be fucking fantastic and i wouldnt be the way i am. Or even better i could wave a magic wand and that fat would go away! i cant help but to bash my self esteem when i over eat though. although i have learnt not to eat past 7pm, which with my old eating habbits i used to have a big meal and wake up the next morning with a huge fat stomach..i like waking up feeling empty ;D I will still post thinspo though cos that does help me alot when im having thoughts of eating things like cakes,lollies,fast food etc. & im still going to post what i eat. if it works ill let you know!!

x

Hospital is good for fasting,but thats it..









Got put into hospital today, but wasnt for being unhealthy or anorexic conditions..i had a sist burst on my ovaries .OUCH!! like MEGA EPIC OUCH! so i ate brekky at 10am and left at 6pm..and felt so happy that i couldnt eat anything from the hospital because they had me fasting..whoo hoo. although its not all good news, as soon as i left i felt the need to treat myself and indulged! NOOOOOoooOoO! So i will have to be extra strict on myself tommorow! I cant even write what i ate today becuase im so dis appointed...i know im not a proper ana but i am picking up the principles, and i need the rules for myself. i know its important to keep myself healthy and eat nutrients so i try but eat very little portions.

Okay i know this post is soooooooooo long but my boss just puts me off food so bad..its good! lol. he ate 3 sausage rolls smothered in tomato sauce. ew. i was just looking at him like gross..look at all that fat your eating! and he tells me he only eats 3 small meals a day with no snacks. BULLSHIT buddy! haha, he is like a friend to me, but he just disgusts me with his eating habbits! lol

So i seen this intresting new shop open up in my town, and it sparked abit of intrest to me...it was a liposuction/ body sculpting parlour. just need to save about $5000.00 to get it done, so theres another goal i can work on. I am going to queensland, and there are so many skinny good looking girls over there, that if i dont loose the weight before i go my self esteem will be so bad that i will end up ruining the trip with my bad moods.

I have a couple of great thinspo movies to watch & they are:
thirteen
dying to dance.


Talk soon my lovlies
xx

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Thinspo that works for me ;D




Eat Less, Feel best!





Okay so i get home last night, and i go to log onto my blog and i left it logged in..my boyfriend was home, and im not sure if he read my blog..i dont want him to think im so maniac with a mental problem. i want to keep this to myself, atleast until i start seeing results! I love him more than myself, and i think the world of him..and i now he cares about me..but when we cuddles i felt him rub my hib..and alll i can think about was..oh god his rubbing my fat.. if i kept controlling what i eat he wouldnt have to feel that, and im sure he'd be alot happier not putting up with a girlfriend with fat legs,ass and stomach..ew makes me shudder thinking about it.

Alright so yesterday i dont think i did too bad for my first day..but could be room for improvement!! I hardly felt like i needed to eat and the hunger pains i embrace becuase i know i would usually run like a un-civilized beast to the cupboard and start eating whatever i can find. Im also starting to get the voice in my head, saying " if you eat that your just going to be more fatter" so i turn and walk away.

I notice when im at work im more tired and need more energy, and the really bad cravings start to hit me at 7.30pm..and i get wrestless like i just want to eat, so i distract myself and go talk to customers, i find this works for me.. i work on a camp where there is 95% men and 5% women..so when ever the girls come in, i have more inspiration not to eat, becuase a couple of them are larger than me so it makes me feel abit better ( sounds bad, but it works for me)..i also watch them eating, thinking to myself "keep eating your just gonna get fatter while i get thinner"

So im going to plan out what i eat today: and see if i stick to it.

b: 1 wholemeal bread
1 poached egg

l: sweet chilli cracker
tuna
2 slices of tomato

s: green grapes

d: cup of tea, no sugar.


Stay thin xx


Monday, March 29, 2010

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!

So i have decided to postpone going to work today becuase i wanted to look at more ana blogs...plus i felt a little sick and had a major headache & my sister is giving birth today too. I work in a kitchen as a chef, it is so annoying when evil food is staring at me all frikken day!! It is that much harder for me to keep on track when there is rocky road and caramel slice in my face all day..but then i see my boss walk past and scoff a peice without thinking and it puts me off..and he wonders why he is so fat??

today:
b: 1 slice of wholemeal bread (toasted) no spreading - 100 cal
200 ml of skim milk - 88 cal

l: tomato soup w noodles
1 slice of wholmeal bread <<< bad bad bad!! gotta cut out the bread!

d: half a salada
dice of cheese (not sure how many cals, have to find out!)



.. see how far i get at work today. i will be working so hard to keep the cravings away. wish me luck beauties!
xx

The Start Of My Obsession Begins..





I am a 20 year old girl with alot of body image issues..so im starting this blog to help myself become thinner and to keep track of what i eat,how i feel etc. I have a slight obsession with looking at skinny girls wishing i could be thinner. I have tried eating healthy,going to the gym bla bla bla..but my binge habbits creep up on me, i have no will power or control..but by reading other girls ana blogs i find inspiration. If anyone has any tips please comment me! Ill keep posting when i can x