Only a small fast, but im in need of it..went abit ovvvvvvvverboard with the calorie intake today and last night D; nooo. hopefully i can sleep off the calories, lol..doubt it. I ate mood cals last night..i get this thing where i get sad cos my boyfriend wont dance with me at partys or events, and i always end up in tears, i have no idea why..its just when i see other couples dancing and having fun, i want that for us too. But i have grown used to it, but still makes me abit teary-eyed after the event. So i sat at the table nibbling on chips, almonds, and had 2 icecreams! damm, fat pig i am. yesterday i could fit nicely into my skinny shorts but not this morning. nope. so this is why i need a fast. im pretty sure i can get through it easily. See what happens when i go away from my blog or thinspo too long, i get fat and eat!!!! Its like im playing a game of cat and mouse, i dont eat then i binge then i fast and then i eat..and binge again wtf. I look at other ana blogs and everyone does so well with there intake i just need more self control i thought i had abit, but it flys out the window some days. I guess i compare myself to other people alot, its something ive always done and im very competitive. I eat on average 600 cals a day..and some people only have 45 cals. i wish i had that intake..need more low cal ideas..think ill go surfing the web for some more ;) if you guys have any ideas love to hear them! I was going so well, but need to pick myself back together and get back to less cals a day! my goal this week is to only eat 400 or less cals a day everyday this week! wish me luck my pretties :):):)
Oh btw, do you know really fucking hurts, when your alseep and you get your belly ring caught in your sheets and you roll around in bed..and wake up to find your belly is bleeding cos i ripped the bottom of peircing hole has been split..if that makes sense..oh well it fucking hurts like a mofo! Oh also i thought id put a pic of my tattoo up, i have 2 tats and planning on getting another when i loose more weight. This tat is on the right side of my shoulder and if you look close it has a keyhole inside..hopefully my boyfriend gets a key tattooed so we match ;D
time to start my fast as of.....NOW!
ily skinny chickies! x
The gym i go to sell this, so i technically did go to the gym but not to work off my fat, so im gonna have to work extra hard tommorow!..im so fat! ughh! fatty fatty fatty. I take pride in how i look (unfortunatly my body isnt up with the times) and found that if i fuss around with beauty products i forget about eating...I still think that even though im not eating as much as i was, i should take care of myself in other ways, if you look healthy than no one can say you look dull and need to eat..its just alot easier to hide from people if your looking healthy on the outside...its all about tricking people. its like a game to me. i have to win, and what i will win at the end is thiness and beauty, then ill be just the way i want to be.
